F R I D A Y,     J U L Y   14,    2 0 0 6

-- Special "Bastille Day" Edition --

T H E     R E A L    E S T A T E    C E N T E R

Waiting for the Outcome
     Yesterday was the big day for Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane's long-awaited landmark hearing at the Hamilton County Board of Revulsion after the Disingenuous DemocRAT County Auditor's "certifiable" appraiser got caught trying to justify the Auditor's bogus 41% computer-generated appraisal, but because this edition is being sent out before the hearing takes place, you'll have to wait till tomorrow to find out what happened, unless all the TV cameras show up, which is highly unlikely, because our local Kneepad Liberals in the Press don't give a big rat's ass about victims of drive-by reappraisals, only victims of drive-by shootings. Which seems strange, because if they kept track of the Auditor's victims, you have a murder count in the hundreds of thousands, instead a piddling "45," which is the current Official 2006 Whistleblower / Smith & Wesson/ Odell Owens Press Conference Murder Count in Cincinnati.

     Today's the day those Paul Reveres on Motorcycles will be coming to our area to warn us about the illegal alien invasion, stopping off between Indianapolis and Frankfort at 12:30 PM at the Bier Haus (1/2 mile north on Route 128 after you take the Cleves Exit off I-74 [that's Exit # 7} ) . Congressman Chabothead has been invited; revered Congressman Bob McEwen had planned to attend, but he'll be speaking at Bastille Day ceremonies in Paris, Mean Jean Schmidt will not be there, because as we all know, That Lying Bitch represents everything that is evil in all of mankind.

     Adding to David "the Green Pepper's" long trail of failed leadership, he called a press conference Wednesday to blast Schnozzy Heimlich on the hoopla created by the audit of the Department of Job and Family Services. When they were informed that their press conference would have blasted Odd Todd Opportune since he was the only commissioner currently on the Commission when the spending in question occurred), the perennial crime victim called off his dog and pony show. Maybe the Pied Pepper should call a press conference to explain why murders in Cincinnati hit a 26-year high when he was Chairman of the Law and Public Safety Committee.

     Don't forget, Hamilton County Enviornmental Services will be holding its FREE 2006 computer recycling event on Saturday and Sunday. Your wife will never forgive you if you don't get your crappy old computers out of her basement like she's been telling you all these years. Check the details here.

     And with their 50th Reunion for the Forrest Gump High School Class of 1956 coming, one of the ladies on the planning committee says we're driving her crazy with our "countdown" because there's no way she can lose 71 pounds in the next 71 days.

     Our Wyoming Snitch (probably not Assistant City Solicitor Joe "Mr. Don't Know It All" Braun) says Artis Conception shows Wyoming's Mayor "Doc" Savage "saving" Damsel in "distress" Clown-cilwoman Vicki Zwissler. But what is he "saving" her from? Could it be from jail? Seems that during the court proceedings, Zwissler was subpoenaed to testify, but was "out of town." Maybe she considers Springfield Township "out of town." While court was going on, she was seen both in Springfield Township and in Wyoming. Technically she wasn't inside the boundaries of Cincinnati, but we wonder if Evil Judge Meddle will see it that way.

     And if you think Ghizzy Lizzy uses city time and money inappropriately, the citizens of Wyoming have it worse. City crews were seen cutting bushes and weeds, on city time, IN WOODLAWN so they could have their "citizens march" to their new Rec Center... in Woodlawn. Maybe they were ordered to do so by (self-proclaimed) CEO of Wyoming (sounds better than City Manager I guess) Boob Harrison.


Bluegrass Blasts
     Today is Bastille Day, but since our French boycott is still in effect for all patriotic Americans, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo won’t be joining Whistleblower food critic Martin UpChuck for their annual visit to what used to be one of Camboo’s pre-boycott favorite fine-dining establishments in Northern Kentucky, Chez Bastille, located at 303 Court Street in Covington. The food was so good, it wasn’t surprising Chez Bastille was so hard to get into. And folks who used to eat there all the time say once you were there, you probably would’ve found it even more difficult to leave.

     Have you seen the Garry Edmondson for Kenton County Attorney Campaign Stickers?

                             

     When appearing on Fox News Thursday morning with that scrumptious blonde babe Edie Hill, did Goof Doofus really say DemocRATS using flag-draped coffins in a campaign video was "the most disgusting thing I have ever seen in politics?" Oh, really?

                             



Stories We're Working On
     Corruption uncovered in the Auditor’s office
     TV 19 updates Warren Beatty Trial
     Gannett blames Fishwrap for earnings decline
     Poll shows Icky Vicki tied with Mean Jean in ugly woman contest
     Kings Island rides not dangerous enough
     Governor Ernie not just blowing smoke
     Newport: You'll soon be able to go both ways on Monmouth Street


Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s what the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said Judge Meddle will be most remembered for:
(A) Giving Pete Rose a walk: 2%
(B) Keeping Black people out of the Wyoming pool: 1%
(C) Referring to the black activist who got killed as Chewbacca: 1%
(D) Playing to the TV cameras: 96%

Note: Everything we write doesn't have to be so mean-spirited, it's just so much more fun that way!     


Fickle Fans’ Frustrations
This week, everybody who still thinks Senor Bob Castellini should move the Reds to the Philippines so he can call the team the Manila Folders, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner, in Western Hills, is Farley Fairweather, a typical Pete Rose fan, who celebrates after ever Reds' win and never stops bitching every time the team throws another game away in the last of the ninth inning.

Farley wins a lunch with Whistleblower Spoiled Sports Editor Andy Fur-ball at Izzy's so he can really learn how to back-stab and complain, a Ken Broo bobble head doll, and ticket stubs from the Whistleblower VIP box at Erpenbeck-Epling-Fischer Homes Illegal Aliens Stadium in Y'All Ville , made possible by the generosity of Mayor Blondie Whalen. His winning limerick is:



        Have the Reds ever heard of a bull pen?
        Their relievers are just girly men.
        They throw just like babies,
        Or lunatics with rabies,
        Will we ever be contenders again?

        Have the Reds ever heard of a bull pen?
        They haven't had a save since who knows when.
        If we had Rob Dibble,
        Not these guys who just dribble,
        We might play in October again.

        The first line of next week's limerick is:

        "When your Board of Revulsion Hearing is done."

MOST DISGUSTING THING IN POLITICS HOT LINE e-mail your most egregious examples to whistleblower@cinci.rr.com Link of the Day Check out your Bastille Day Traffic

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