T U E S D A Y,     J U L Y   1 8,    2 0 0 6

-- Special "Bastille Day" Edition --

T H E     R E A L    E S T A T E    C E N T E R

Real e-Mails From Real Subscribers
     In all those stories about the behavior of my bad News Bungals, at least nobody's mentioning Carson Palmer's "Cornhole Contest." --"Millionaire Mike" Brown

     During the heat wave, people should refrain from Cornholing outside during the middle of the day. –Dan Doppler

     Did you ever wonder what kind of pervert would name a children's game
after anal sex? --Phil Burr-ass

     Amazingly, the Cornhole game was invented in Cincinnati. --Greater Cincinnati Chamber of Commerce

     Cornholing is very popular among the staff at Clear Channel, especially on "Casual Sex Fridays." --Bobby Leach

     When I dropped off my computer for recycling at Technology Recycling last weekend, I hope I remembered to erase my collection of Cornholing photos from my hard drive. --Jim LaBabbler, WGRR Radio

     Judge Meddel just ruled that only white corn could be used. --The Rich, Pasty-white, God-fearing Privileged People of Whiteoming

     If you have a complaint about your property taxes, we'll always give you a fair rearing. --Hamilton County Board of Cornholing

     Did I ever get Cornholed by Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane last week or what? --The Hamilton County Auditor

     It was a landmark victory. --Mothers Against Drive-by Cornholing

     All weekend, over-taxed payers have been calling asking me to handle their Cornholing complaints. --Family Friendly Fascist Chris Finney

     And I just got the exclusive listing for Cornhole Estates in Anderson Township. --Resourceful Realtor Jason Gloyd

     How come all those lawyers keep threatening to Cornhole me just because I screwed up Jim Cissell’s magnificent Clerk of Courts Website and they have to walk up to the Courthouse in the broiling sun to look at court records?

     Wait till we show pictures of our class members Cornholing at our reunion in only 67 more days. --Forrest Gump Class of 1956

     Fans love "Cornhole Night" when the Reds show them on their big screen TVs. --Andy FurBall

     Remember that time we kidnapped David Pepper? --Gino the Cornholer

     We could save a lot of money on our new jail if we’d just encourage prisoners to Cornhole in their cells. –Sheriff Si Leis

     How many illegal aliens would show up for Cornholing on Sundays at the soccer fields on Kellogg? --Cincinnati Recreational Cornholing Commission

     I just put a sign in the window of my Pleasure Inn in Mason saying "For Cornholing, Speak English." --Tom Ullum

     Cowards Cornhole, Marines never do. --Mean Jean Schmidt

     How about a picture of me and Steve Chabot Cornholing on the bridge? --Goof Doofus

     We saw a bumper sticker in Devou Park that said "I'd Rather Be Cornholing."--Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis

     Do you think Dick Roeding would like to sponsor our Cornhole contest? --Homos from Hebron

     I get nervous whenever a bunch of queers asks me about Cornholing. --Sen. Dick Roeding

     We're not a bunch of queers. The correct term is a "swallow of queers." --Log Cabin Republicans

     They kicked us out of Starbuck's because some of our guys were Cornholing. --DemocRAT Dominatrix Kathy Groob

     A chicken in every pot and a queer in every lot. --Nathan "Cornhole" Smith

     I tried to get my DUI reduced to "following too closely" after a Cornhole Tournament in Erlanger. --DUI Danny Zalla

     Is Cornholing anything like a probe? --Dick Murgatroyd

     Do you think I could get a bunch of Cornholers to vote for me when I run again? --Michael Liquid Plummer

     Only if you change your name to rhyme with Cornhole. --Gex "Rhymes With Sex" Williams

     When you play Cornhole, you become the butt of a lot of jokes. --Channel 19 News

Sometimes The Blower uses gay bashing to show that intolerance of any kind is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn't a flaming faggot.

Disclaimer: This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially "Ghizzy Lizzy and the Gays.

Link of the Day Did Dubya really say that?

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